Not long ago, I was at a nightclub, perched up near the bar, when a tall, beautiful girl dressed in very fashionable clothes walked up and placed herself right next to me. There were other spots she could've chosen, but she chose to be near me, as women often do at bars.
I had been relaxing, and was lower energy, and not very outgoing at the moment, so I simply turned to her and gave her one of the most basic openers I could, reliant more on nonverbals than anything else. I looked at her out of the side of my eye, smiled, looked away briefly, then looked back. I let a knowing smile pass over my lips, and slowly turned my gaze away, staring off into space expectantly.
She ignores me; I ignore her; and we each go about our nights. She, either because she's interested in me, or because she feels some sort of social obligation to ask me something back, then asks me a question, reengaging me after I'd disengaged This isn't the only way to open girls like this, but when you're lower energy, it's an efficient one When I first started using it, I wasn't even sure if it's work as an opener.
I was just doing it as an experiment to see if I could show through my behavior to girls who were acting superior on first encounter that they'd misread me and in fact I was the one of higher social standing.
The game isn't to put a woman in her place - the game is to show her you can play it as well or better than she can! That's what a lot of men don't get about dealing with girls who act superior or aloof Doing that only lets her know she's won. Because when she first met you, she was taking a guess. But if you don't get upset You've just shown her that you are an entirely different animal than the type she's accustomed to seeing.
You're not bitter nice guy in disguise Any time a girl acts superior, or acts rude, or acts aloof, pull this tool out of your tool belt and put it to use. And the deeper you are into the interaction, the more likely she is to reengage you. When she does, you simply respond slowly, with a warm-but-absentminded smile on your face, as if being woken up from a dream.
Recently, a member of the Girls Chase Boards posted a question about a scenario he encountered where a girl had been flirting with him, touching him, and really priming him all through a dinner at her house It's a case where the girl is attempting to dictate the terms of the relationship.
You can get upset about it, view it as an injustice, rude, and cruel toward men everywhere, that some woman would dare to make herself the sole determiner of what a mutual relationship is between her and an individual she'd already been flirting and teasing with quite a bit is. But that's the low status way , and that kind of anger and upset gets you precisely nowhere.
Alternately, you could simply laugh it off as her being silly and cute, playing games, and play her game right back with her And then instead of it being upsetting and final, it's fun and it's just the beginning. I know which one I prefer. Well, I'll tell you how you don't deal with girls acting aloof or flighty or changing their minds :. Note on that last: in some cases you can ignore the things women say, if they're clearly already going along with what you're doing.
The rest of the time though, you do need to address them. Well, in this case, my advice to the author of the thread was this: the next time you run into some girl who was touching you and giving you something like this - "I'm really just looking for friends" - what you want to say is this:. Her: I'm really just looking for friends. You: [said with a tone half of puzzlement, and half of flirty teasing, sexy eye contact, and an edgy smile] So you're saying All this is is flirting.
Flirting is designed to create a feeling of mild confusion and a mismatch between what's said and what's implied. And if she keeps protesting, you simply keep asking her half-dumbfounded, half-flirtatious questions in return. Like so:. Her: Well Friends don't kiss each others' necks! You: Don't they now? You: So She becomes more and more turned on as she allows you to keep kissing her, and every time she tries to trip you up with a little game like that, you turn it right around and ask her to define what she means.
Overall, girls who use mean behavior often struggle to acknowledge anything good about other people due to envy. Mean girls are often overly concerned with appearance. They may place a high priority on their clothing, their make-up, and even their weight.
Likewise, they may zero in on these things in others, pointing out everything from acne and weight gain to clothing choices and hairstyles. Mean girls may even withhold kindness and friendship from anyone who does not meet their physical standards.
These behaviors are sometimes motivated by a sense of insecurity—they may fear that if the people they surround themselves with are less than perfect, people will realize that they are less than perfect as well. Even though they may not act like it, mean girls care a great deal about what others think of them. They consider how everything looks to others from where they live and how they dress to what car they drive and who they date.
If these things are less than desirable, they will find a way to cover them up. Mean girls have a strong desire to be popular and in charge at school. Their goal is to be at the top of the social ladder; and they will sometimes do anything to get there, including using other people. It is not uncommon for a mean girl to befriend someone based on the belief that the person can help them improve their status.
Additionally, those who engage in mean behaviors tend to bully others who threaten their status. For instance, if they perceive another girl as a threat to their status or popularity, they may use relational aggression and other mean behaviors to attempt to eliminate the threat she poses. One surefire way educators and parents can spot a mean girl is to look at how she relates to other girls.
If she is regularly in little skirmishes with other girls or is surrounded by drama, there may be more to it than just normal conflict. Mean girls are often labeled " frenemies " by their peers because of their tendency to engage in hurtful behaviors. In fact, even people they claim to be friends with may become targets. Girls who regularly engage in mean behavior may cause others to wonder what they say when they're not around.
There is a tremendous lack of trust when it comes to relating with girls who use mean behaviors. Mean girls usually have an exclusive group of friends that they do everything with. Once the group is established, it's rare that they invite others to be part of their friend group.
Consequently, their friend group may appear to outsiders like a clique simply because it is so hard for other people to be accepted by the group.
Within cliques, there are usually unspoken rules or requirements for being part of the group; they may include physical aspects like looks, hairstyles, or clothing choices.
Many mean girls demonstrate controlling behaviors. In their relationships, they often emerge as the ones in charge. As a result, other girls follow their lead because they are afraid of being forced out of the group or becoming a target. EvilEmpress , May 18, Registered: Mar 3, You're generalizing. Sure, there are some hot girls who are stuck up and snobby. But there are an equal amount of plain girls who are unfriendly and self centered. We just don't notice because, well, we don't care.
While I'm sure some "hot" girls can have off putting personalities, I've found if you treat one as an individual, and not focuse entirely on her looks she has eyes to stare at, too. I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I recently met a gorgeous blonde woman who looks like Bridget Bardot no kidding and we've been hitting it off quite well.
Its working out quite well. Wellington , May 18, Registered: May 31, There are a lot of very attractive what you would call "hot" women and young women who are actually very down-to-earth and compassionate.
On the same token, you will have those who are not necessarily what some societies would consider the standard of attractiveness and beauty, but are equally easy to get along with, have pleasant personalities, etc. Both types of women can also be snobbish, possessive, mean-spirited, manipulative, "stuck-up," and what I would call "needy" or "high maintinance.
Registered: Aug 1, Every attractive woman I've known has been very nice, in my experience. I do have one attractive friend who intentionally acts snobby, but she only does it towards me, and she does it because of the stereotype this thread is based around.
It's all an act, and she and I both know it. Syntax , May 19, Registered: Mar 10, My observations, from some personal experience: Attractive females come in all shapes, sizes and varieties. However, those who are accepted by the sweaty, greasy masses as being "hot" are often so annoyed by one guy after another trying to score a piece that they become defensive. Can you blame them? So they set up barriers to protect themselves. Sometimes, they act like someone they aren't.
Guys do this too. We all struggle to reach other people while still keeping our defenses up. Elarra You're still trying to sound smart with sarcasm and it's working even less. Your debate isn't working. But not taking someone at face value? Isn't criticism, it's derision. Ok, then ManOnFire You're funny!
That's much better. You actually have respect enough to actually use your ears. If you read the first lines, I noted that I really didn't know exactly why I wrote it, it was just something on my mind at the time. Anything can come to my mind at any time. Part of me also wrote it because of the younger stuck up females on my job, like I also mentioned. THAT really does offend me, because they're really very foul and toxic and I absolutely try to avoid them in my life, regardless of if they give me the time of day or not, and like I said some have and I still didn't care.
SovereignessofVamps I gotta say, Sovereign, I'm really disappointed in you. I thought you were cooler and smarter than this. ManOnFire Oooh, so now I could be a snobby chick from your other response, and now you want me SovereignessofVamps I'm less concerned about you wanting my approval and a lot more interested in you taking me at face value.
Lots of guys are terminally attracted to foul and toxic bitches. Almost to where it's like an addictive drug. I mean Given all that And that you WANT them, in that hate-fuck sort of way Nothin wrong with that Hate-fucking is the best fucking. Tbh, dude, with all the salt you throw around on here, I think you and some toxic bitch would make an explosive combination. You two would probably trash yr place, and the cops would get called a few times SovereignessofVamps You hear that?
A 30 year old man who you know through the net doesn't think you're cool or smart anymore. Now who's the snob? I wonder Like I said resorting to someone's intelligence just shows you don't have any points. I always tell my students that when writing, debating, or reporting, never comment on the other party in an insulting manner as it makes you look worse than they do. You're welcome for the 9th grade Language Arts lesson your teachers must not have given you.
The part about making her burn is about if you're a guy in general doing that, not me per se. Putting a girl through the ringer sexually and hating tittyfucking which is what you're referring to me writing about is not the same thing as liking snobs, by far. To you it's salt. To me it's shaking things up on a site where people are not very tuned into reality and are still living in highschool and college with limited thoughts.
I'll pass on fucking the toxic bitch. Somehow I think you would do better in bed with her, seeing as you can relate to lesbian sentiments. ManOnFire Why do you want them to go through the ringer then? Elarra She is someone through the net I grew to like, and I ain't gonna hide that.
Don't see how snobbery is related to that. That's not saying you're dumb, it's saying your argumentative speech is gawdier and pretentious above your normal intelligence. SovereignessofVamps Because it's just something sexy about that, and that's the case for me ONLY with tittyfucking, and occasionally anal. Other than that, I like and want sex where she's enjoying it as much as I am.
It's just the breast thing, that you as the guy are using her boobs for her own demise like that. It is so fucking hot. Don't get me all horny now, lol. ManOnFire No reason to be horny I am so surprised anyone notices my posts, but you're like the 3rd guy to tell me.
Thanks dude. As long as the bitches are hot, at least. If she's hot enough, then, guys come to understand bitchiness as an asset -- because it means that she's MUCH less likely to bother entertaining that competition, if she's taken This isn't 7th grade cheerleader tryouts; it'd be appreciated if you could refrain from being "catty". You don't do Mean Girls well. SovereignessofVamps I actually don't get a chance to see your posts a lot.
It's about our conversations we've had in private. You're a lot more down-to-earth than I would've thought. ManOnFire Hunh? We talked about anal and I asked you to make up a story about it A HOT woman is relative.
A hot woman to 10 guys is just meh to 20 or 30, and vice versa. If men really liked and wanted bitches all that much you wouldn't have so many of them complaining about how they "think" or "know" they're attractive yet no guys ever approach them. There's a reason for that. Bitches repel men a hell of a lot more than they attract them.
And that's probably a fact that you're not gonna get since you're not a guy on the other side of the spectrum. Me and my male friends talk about it alllllllll the time. It almost IS wishful thinking for bitches.
No man wants a push-over woman with her kids, but he sure as hell don't want no bitch I can tell you that right now. And I once wrote about liking how a girl hates tittyfucking and you took that as meaning I like snobs. If pushing back is being "catty" then I'm the biggest lion in the room ManOnFire Yeah I remember more now.
You said you liked painful stuff. I think you like it, not because there's pain but because she's doing something Same as this IMHO. Try being a guy and meeting bitches who are attractive but cry about getting no approach and no likes. I meet plenty of them. You can fool somebody else with that magazine column analysis. SovereignessofVamps Not doing it to impress me, doing it for my sake. The two aren't the same. Vast majority of men dont like toxic bitches or girls with attitude, guys like physically attractive women, and logically the most physically attractive women get away with the worst type of attitudes because many guys still want to fuck them due to their looks.
But very few guys are drawn to the bitchiness itself, the ideal woman to most guys is someone who looks very good, is modest humble and kind in general while still not being a pushover, but still can be aggressive in bed. Felinegirl Actually I tried to find a picture of both a man and a woman side by side but only found snobby female ones.
TuMeManques ikr? I made the same point about the word "assertive", here: www. TuMeManques That's what I was thinking, snobby is a female word since it's usually even defined by bitchy which is also more or less a word targeted at women. I believe that arrogance and snobbiness are fully more of a thing with women than with men.
A man will think he's great just because he has a big career, muscles, money, etc. But a woman will think she's great just because she's a woman. Take away all those things from the man and he will come down to earth. But a woman will still be foolishly proud and snobby even if she works part-time, is taking the bus, etc. Many men on the other hand are socialized to believe they are great just by virtue of being men.
Well, the difference between men and women having to deal with the cocky ones from the opposite genders is that men are more likely to experience the cold rejection.
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